GBTQ+ MEN'S RETREAT
May 10-12, 2024
A retreat for our community to take our social and emotional life-skills to the next level, to both serve your highest personal aspirations and to connect with other GBTQ+ men.
Join our GTBQ+ Men’s Retreat
A time to hone in our authenticity, our self-awareness and our relational acumen for the betterment of all, and to be with a group of men committed to such work, to strengthen life-long connections, and to support each other on the journey.
Cultivate personal strength and confidence
Connect with other like minded GBTQ+ men
Leave with deep authentic connections to men who will continue to have your back
Take home new skills that you will easily apply in all your relationships
Hey there, we’re Cator and Mike
After facilitating numerous men's retreats, it's become clear that GBTQ+ men are missing in spaces dedicated to men's work, a reality we're determined to change. The dominance of cis-straight men in these spaces isn't because GBTQ+ men have it all figured out; rather, it points to a lack of representation and accessibility. Our experiences as GBTQ+ men, fraught with the trauma of coming out—a journey of letting go and rebuilding, of learning and unlearning, of acceptance and forgiveness—underscore the critical need for our presence and participation in these healing spaces.
The GBTQ+ Men’s Retreat emerges as a leader in the GBTQ+ men’s work space, offering a sanctuary for GBTQ+ men to shed the weight of their pasts. It's a place where new neural pathways can flourish, paving the way for a life liberated from the shadows of old beliefs and behaviors. This retreat is more than an event; it's a transformative journey towards healing, inner strength, and connection with fellow men, designed to empower GBTQ+ men to heal their traumas and embrace a future of freedom and fulfillment.
The truth is men’s work has been a movement dedicated for every man, but GBTQ+ men are underrepresented. Let’s change that. Join other GBTQ+ men to experience the joy that naturally comes from being in an emotionally safe environment and doing “the work” together.
Raise your hand if you can relate to any of these statements…
When I feel overwhelmed, I turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms
When life gets stressful and overwhelming, you disconnect, dissociate, numb-out and turn to short-term pleasures. And you know this isn’t addressing the problem, but the quick fix soothes you just enough to not feel the stress. Then you might find yourself the following day craving that next moment of relief.
Loneliness and isolation are very familiar to me
You crave connection and intimacy, but something gets in the way. Perhaps there’s a pattern of self-sabotaging behavior that pushes people away. Or you feel anxious in social situations. Although being alone and isolated feels “safe”, you desire to be part of a group or a tribe.
I’ve kept secrets my entire life and it’s holding me back
From hiding our authentic selves deep in the ‘closet’ to issues with alcohol or drugs, queer men are often drowning in our own secrets. Maybe it’s even your sexual fetishes or sexual position that you feel like you have to hide. Trust is an issue. This pain you carry can result in a lack of deep connection with friends, family and lovers.
I find myself in a cycle of shame and I can’t get over it
From living in shame as a child with our big gay secret to having that shame bubble up in our adult life- shame is the number one emotion GBTQ men bring up. It comes out in messy relationships, drinking too much, spending too much money to prove to the world that you are enough, and in our sex lives with these often unattainable stereotype bodies we think we should all have.
I suffer from Peter Pan
Syndrome
You don’t feel like you’ve grown up. You party, date, and generally live life with no commitments, few responsibilities, and you might be aware that you often display narcissistic traits . You might have a ton of friends but are terribly unhappy, often lonely, and never fulfilled. And you long for deeper friendships and relationships.
I think I have an addiction, but I don’t know how to solve it
You’ve realized that you have a behavior that’s addictive, not serving you, and it’s impacting the people around you. Whether it’s turning to your phone in moments of stillness or grabbing a couple drinks midday, this behavior is slowly taking over your ability to be present with the things you care about.
You want more vitality and energy in life. You want healthier relationships. And you’re ready to do the work to change.
We can help.
Cator checking in. Coming out at 18 was the biggest blessing I could ask for, but for ten years before that I was constantly bullied to the point I questioned taking my own life. Once I came out I didn’t look back, much to my detriment. Only now at 47 have I realized how much shame and anger I carried with me all of these years. If only I had found a coach or therapist to talk about my trauma from hiding my authentic self for so long.
When I decided to pursue a career in coaching and signed up for a year long training, I never expected it to be a year of such deep self exploration. The journey has continued through my work with EVRYMAN and facilitating a weekly GBTQ+ group, as well as our retreats.
Processing my childhood trauma, taking care of my inner child, and leaning in on being authentic and vulnerable with other queer men has been the best theapy I could ask for to get me to a place of compassion, grace, and above all love of self.
Mike checking in. I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian church and by the age of 10, I felt deep shame about how I felt and who I was attracted to. By the age of 12 I had experienced 4 different traumas in my life. And I had convinced myself that they were all my fault. In a desperate attempt to survive, I learned the skill of people pleasing. I never spoke my truth, said “no”, and I couldn’ts to stand up for myself.
Fast forward to my early 20s. These problems still persisted and I had fabricated an inauthentic life that eventually made me suicidal. With another desperate attempt to survive, I came out, introducing a whole new set of stressors that eventually led me to get help.
Now in my late 30s, more than a decade of personal healing work and graduating several professional training programs, I live a life of calm and ease, my shame no longer haunts me, and my relationships are healthy, authentic, and fulfilling. To sum up my healing journey into one sentence, I think about what Dr. Peter Levine says, “Trauma is a fact of life. It does not, however, have to be a life sentence.”
Pillars of the GBTQ+ Retreat
The pillars of the GBTQ+ Retreat reflect our innate ability to heal, change, and transform. The pride we feel in our community also reflects the pride we have in ourselves. P.R.I.D.E. is a commitment to our healing journey and it represents how we show up for each other with each other.
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"Presence" speaks to the importance of being fully engaged in the moment, embracing mindfulness, and embodying our experiences. It’s about being present with our emotions, our physical sensations, and the environment around us.
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Given the journey of healing and growth, resilience is a cornerstone value. It reflects the strength and perseverance required to navigate personal traumas and the ongoing process of healing. Resilience honors the journey we are on, recognizing the courage it takes to face and heal from past wounds.
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Intimacy goes beyond physical closeness to include emotional and spiritual intimacy. It involves opening up to deep, vulnerable connections with oneself and with others. This value speaks to the importance of fostering supportive, empathetic relationships within the retreat space, allowing for genuine connections and shared healing experiences.
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This pillar is about the journey of self-exploration and personal growth. Discovery encompasses learning new ways to navigate emotions, understand the body's signals, and uncover deeper truths about ourselves. It’s about embracing the journey of healing as an ongoing process of uncovering, learning, and growing.
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Empowerment is the culmination of the retreat's values, aiming to instill a sense of strength, autonomy, and self-efficacy. It’s about equipping each man with the tools and confidence to take ownership of their healing journey, make empowering choices, and live authentically.
Hear what past participants have to say…
“It's extremely difficult to attempt to briefly summarize my incredible experience at the GBTQ+ Wimberley Retreat last summer. I remain incredibly grateful that I jumped out of my comfort zone and showed up halfway across the country, knowing no one, somewhat shut down, self-conscious and candidly a little scared. I soon discovered that Cator and Mike have developed and curated skills, compassion and leadership abilities that quickly and gracefully moved me away from that closed-up mass of thoughts and numbness.
For any man that is considering joining this retreat experience, I highly recommend it if you desire to gain a new perspective about yourself and how you show up in this world. I allowed myself to be vulnerable, outraged, humorous, overjoyed, curious, despaired, shaken and 'awakened' more than I had ever been. You will realize that you're not alone or 'less-than' when, for one example, the most seemingly successful, attractive, charismatic man is standing in front of you admitting extreme anxiety regarding finances, sex, trust, addiction, loneliness, and inadequacy.
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle..." Something shifts. Meet your shadow-self. Love and cherish your body. Be known, heard, seen. Be loved just as you are. I started something there in Wimberley. Happy to report that I'm still curious and still continuing the journey I started.” — Drew, 2023 GBTQ+ Participant
“The retreats Cator and Mike hold are safe places where I could stop the storytelling, get in touch and feel the emotions in my body, and take up space — unapologetically. Join them and step away from your life for a weekend and feel what it's like to turn your pain and hurt into love. Whether you are new to mens work or already on a path — don’t miss an opportunity. You will be supported by them along with everyone else. More importantly, if you show up (to do the work) — the trajectory of your life could change before you get home. It did for me in Austin.” — Ed, 2023 GBTQ+ Participant
"My experience at the GBTQ+ men's retreat in Austin, TX with the leadership of Cator Sparks and Mike Sagun was an excellent experience! I made new strides in my own journey of self discovery and personal awareness. I had a meaningful encounter where I learned to trust myself and my feelings and to let go of my habitual inner voice to judge and shame myself. I found this to be freeing and empowering for which I am deeply grateful." — Jeff, 2023 GBTQ+ Participant
Easton Mountain
A community, retreat center, and sanctuary
Created by
gay men
Through workshops, programs, and events Easton Mountain provides opportunities to celebrate, heal, transform, and integrate body, mind, and spirit. We offer our land, rich in beauty and wisdom, as a home to a community that extends beyond the land. We are a worldwide fellowship of people enriched by our connection to Easton Mountain. This fellowship is a force for positive change in the world.
Facilitators
Facilitated by Certified Professional Somatic & Trauma Coach Mike Sagun, and Certified Professional Coactive Coach Cator Sparks, both out and proud gay men.
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Mike has over 15 years of experience as a coach, facilitator, and teacher. After graduating with a degree in education he became a teaching artist working with young people all over Northern California. In 2018, he became a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) and started his own coaching practice. He is currently in his final year at Peter Levine’s Somatic Experiencing Professional Training program.
Mike has worked with companies like LinkedIn, Kaiser Permanente, DropBox, EVRYMAN, and Google X.
If you really knew Mike, you’d know that coming out was the riskiest, most life-altering decision Mike has ever made. The 2nd riskiest, most life-altering decision: choosing to date his now husband.
When Mike isn’t coaching his clients, facilitating retreats, and teaching online programs, you might find him harvesting from his garden, practicing yoga, or in the kitchen cooking dinner with his husband.
Mike, Jerry, and their pitbull rescue Bert live in San Miguel de Allende, MX and they’ve been in a committed relationship for 12 years.
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Cator Sparks is a ICF-certified CPCC (Certified Professional Coactive Coach) life coach for men, with a focus on the queer community. Helping men connect to their body (Somatic healing) Cator helps men shake the beehive of life, set goals, mine for values, connect deeper to their authentic selves, and learn how to wrangle the saboteur that we all have telling us we aren’t good enough. You are enough. It’s time to retire the phrases, “Boys don’t cry,” “Grow a pair,” “Man up” and “Winners never quit,” and rethink what it’s like to be a modern man.
Besides having his own private practice, Cator facilitates the GBTQ+ men’s group for EVRYMAN, coaches executives for Boon Health, and is currently taking Gabor Mate’s year long Compassionate Inquiry course focused on healing trauma.
Schedule and Information
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*Note from the facilitators: This is a working schedule. The program times might be altered as we get closer to the retreat. However, expect us to start the program at 7:15pm on Friday. And expect to depart at 2pm on Sunday.
May 10th, Friday
3pm: Registration opens at Easton Mountain
6pm: Dinner
7:15pm: Evening Session
May 11th, Saturday
7am: Morning Movement
8am: Breakfast
9:15am: Morning Session
12pm: Lunch
1:15pm: Afternoon Session
3pm: Rest & Restore
6pm: Dinner
7:15pm: Evening Session
May 12th, Sunday
7am: Morning Movement
8am: Breakfast
9:15am: Morning Session
12pm: Lunch
1:15pm: Afternoon Session
2pm: Check out + Departure
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Easton Mountain is a community, retreat center, and sanctuary created by gay men as a gift to the world.
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Getting to Easton Mountain
There are several options for getting to Easton Mountain:
Easton Mountain is located in the Hudson Valley approximately 30 miles North of Albany, New York and conveniently located within a three-hour drive of Boston, New York City, and Montreal.
To set up your GPS, use the following address: 391 Herrington Hill Road, Greenwich, NY 12834
You can fly into the Albany airport, take the Megabus or AMTRAK to Albany (Rensselaer Station), or take the Greyhound/Trailways to Albany.
If you need a ride from Albany, here are some options:
Uber
Lyft
Easton Mountain does not officially provide pickups, but we do try to help connect attendees to carpool. Contact Jay@eastonmountain.org. (This is not a guarantee of a ride. If Jay is unable to match you up with someone, you may still need to take an Uber or Lyft)
More information here.
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There are 4 private room options (limited availability).
Private room w/ private bathroom
Private room w/ shared bathroom
Private cottage w/ detached bathroom
Private room w/ detached bathroom
And plenty of semi-private room options (2 men each room w/ a shared bathroom).
More information on the registration page.
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Easton Mountain is catering our retreat. If you have any food allergies and/or restrictions, please let us know in the post-registration survey.
Schedule a Discovery Call
Not sure if this retreat is for you? Have questions? Or do you want to connect with one of the facilitators?
Schedule a free discovery call with Mike or Cator below.